Correct and make essay complete for the narrative essay

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“When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you. I did not shrink from the challenge, I rose to it. If I had it to do all over again, I’d still hit that shot.” (Roy in the movie Tin Cup)

This first essay is chance for me and your classmates to get to know better as a person and as a reader and writer. In this essay we will practice using the narrative mode while in later essays we will use the expository mode.

For this essay, you will write:

  • 750 word, approximately 2-3 page narrative essay
  • about ONE defining moment in your life that you either rose to the challenge or you shrank from it.
  • No longer than one day in length

Audience: People that do not know you and have not experienced the same thing. Your classmates!

Narrative Questions to Liven Up You Essay

  1. Act: What happened? What is the action? What is going on? What action; what thoughts?
  2. Scene: Where is the act happening? What is the background situation?
  3. Agent: Who is involved in the action? What are their roles?
  4. Agency: How do the agents act? By what means do they act?
  5. Purpose: Why do the agents act? What do they want?


  • An introduction that provides context on the topic, eases the reader into your essay, and has a “hook” that grabs people’s attention.
  • Transitional topic sentences that illustrate chronological, time order.
  • The point of view in narrative essays is usually first person. The use of “I” invites your readers into an intimate discussion. But, don’t overdo use of “I”!
  • Organize as a narrative: beginning, middle, and end. This is not merely a summary of a day; it is a narrative, a story.
  • Strong explanation of how the moment shaped you.
  • A conclusion that offers some ideas about why and how the moment defined you.
  • Strong sentences that are both grammatically correct and sophisticated.
  • Descriptive language (use of adjectives and adverbs).
  • Only be one moment! No longer than a day in length.
  • Be a narrative, not an expository essay.


  1. 750 words (about 2-3). You will be graded down if you do not meet this requirement.
  2. All drafts must be typed and double-spaced.
  3. . Size 12 Times New Roman/Arial/Palatino Font
  4. Have the proper MLA header in the left corner (see the syllabus for the MLA header). Incomplete headers will receive grade deductions.
  5. Last name and page number on every page. Add these in with the “insert page number” function.
  6. No extra spaces between paragraphs
  7. Indent paragraphs
  8. A title that is not GENERIC

The First file is the grading rubric. The second one is an sample essay. The Third one is my first draft.

Please help me finish this essay by following the requirements. Please double check the sample essay to get some feel. And make this essay satisfies the A of Grading Rubric. Thank you!

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